Making an Offer
by Aesop
Summary: Kenzi has a tendency to act on instinct.  This usually lands her and Bo in some kind of trouble.  Here's more of the same.


_**MAKING AN OFFER**_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lost Girl or the characters from the show. I am not profiting from this in any way._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: This idea came to me fully formed and I decided to write it down as that happens so infrequently. Kenzi has a habit of acting on impulse and getting herself and Bo into trouble. Here's more of the same_. J

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Kenzi had, of course, heard the expression, 'you could cut the tension with a knife', but she had never thought she'd encounter such a situation, despite her often stressful life. That life had become even more stressful since she learned of the existence of the Fae and begun living with the most controversial one in town.

If she was reading the situation right, though, life in the city was about to become a lot more stressful for everyone. The Ash's manor was, once again, the scene of a confrontation between the Ash and the Morrigan.

When she arrived, the two were almost nose-to-nose, shouting at each other. Kenzi had heard diplomacy was breaking down between the sides, and it worried her, but she wasn't about to show it or treat the two bickering Fae lords with what they considered proper respect. She regarded them from across the room, between two hulking attendants who had moved to block her path, one of the Dark and the other of the Light. The guards didn't like being ignored, but weren't about to move closer to each other to block her view. Three feet seemed about as close as they were willing to get. It reminded her of little kids on a playground.

Glancing at the two curiously, mentally labeling the bruisers Thing1 and Thing2, she asked, "Have they considered couples' counseling?"

The two gaped at her for a second before the stoic masks slammed back into place, but Thing1's shoulders shook slightly and he was obviously trying not to laugh. She was certain she heard a snicker from somewhere to her right, but didn't turn to look. _Best to move on_, she decided. Thing2's scowl had deepened. "So, I've got packages to deliver. Which of you says 'yes'm' to the Ash?"

"Let her through," the Ash's voice carried more than a trace of irritation at having to actually acknowledge a human in some way. Morrigan glanced at her briefly as the guards moved aside and then ignored her completely.

Kenzi moved forward, taking her backpack off and unzipping it. "I have two packages; one for each of you from your underlings." She withdrew two legal envelopes, one marked 'A', and the other marked 'M'. She pretended to shuffle them, with an exaggerated look of confusion on her face. Neither of the recipients was amused.

She handed them to the proper people and was suddenly struck with an idea. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"If you say 'couples' counseling'," Ash promised, "I will kill you where you stand." Morrigan didn't comment, but Kenzi noted the twitch to the Dark Fae leader's lips and decided that, cold-blooded bitch or not, at least the Morrigan didn't have the same grade of stick up her ass that the Ash did.

"Noted," Kenzi said, not sounding overly concerned. "Actually, I was going to suggest arbitration."

Both leaders looked at her, not quite knowing what to make of this. "Arbitration?" the Ash asked, as if not quite believing the gall of the creature before him.

"I hear talk, we all do, about how this…_disagreement_ is getting serious. Why not let someone with no stake in it-"

"This does not concern you, human." Morrigan spoke for the first time. "You have no say in this."

"If the Fae go to war and start throwing hoodoo at each other across the city, the humans will be caught in the middle, so it is my business. You need someone who is unbiased. Or in this case someone who doesn't like either one of you."

"Out of the question!" the Ash snapped

"Absurd!" the Morrigan snarled, both speaking in the same instant.

"You see that?" Kenzi smiled. "You're agreeing already."

"Her connections with the Dark make her unacceptable, even if we were to consider it."

"She has more ties to the Light," Morrigan scoffed. "I'd think you'd jump at the chance."

"Bo does take cases from both sides," Kenzi nodded, "but doesn't favor one side over another. I'll get you a dictionary later so you can look up 'neutral'." Both Fae leaders glared at her, so she pressed on. "Ever since that execution a couple of weeks ago, a worm couldn't get under her opinion of either one of you. Can you think of anyone better?"

The two glanced at each other, unwilling to accept a suggestion from a lowly human, but knowing they were at an impasse. Neither wanted a war so they stayed silent, thinking.

"You know where to find us if you decide not to start killing each other." Kenzi turned to walk away.

"What would she want?" Morrigan asked curiously. The Ash stared at her incredulously, trying to conceal the fact that he'd been thinking the same thing.

"We can haggle over price later, but there is one thing…"

"Yes?" Ash asked, curious despite himself.

"If you want a neutral arbiter you'll have to acknowledge that you have a _neutral_ arbiter." Leaving them with that thought, Kenzi walked out of the Ash's manor and headed for home. She wondered how Bo would react to the news.

Twenty minutes later, people passing by a particular building heard an incredulous female voice from inside. "You did WHAT?"

**THE END**


End file.
